I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
