Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
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