Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
