You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize