I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
