Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
