she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
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