I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
