awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
