Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
