I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
