lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think my moral compass just broke
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