..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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