i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
