I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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