Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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