The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
