I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
