Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I have already put on my inside pants.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You left your phone here
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