i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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