Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
