I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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