Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
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