im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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