to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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