he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
