man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
