Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
