She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
