You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
