I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
