i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
