At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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