we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
