A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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