It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
