sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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