omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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