Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
try to milk me bitch
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
