dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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