So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
