Just fell off a train. Bad.
This is not my ceiling
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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