check it out our google latitudes are spooning
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
