You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
