that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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