Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
