His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
there is glitter all over my balls
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
