You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize