David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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