I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Everclear isn't food dammit
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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