Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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