So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
