I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
