So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
