How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
