Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm always down for nudity.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
